Mozambique Part 1

So it's obvious by now that I'm struggling to put my experience into words.  I figure, the only way I'm going to actually make a written record of my time there is if I sit and force myself to come up with something for y'all to read.  Tonight I'm going to share a coupe of my favorite photos from the trip - I apologize now for this being a bit disjointed. 

The first is from our first morning at Milpark Hotel.  We arrived in Chimoio, Mozambique after the sun had set and after a long day of travel, because of that I had no idea what the grounds of the hotel looked like.  Rikki and I both woke up before 4:30 thanks to the crazy time difference.  Waking up this early allowed us to see the sunrise.  Rikki was the first out of bed.  She opened the curtains to find the most amazing sunrise either of us had ever seen.  We both opened the back door of our room to get the full view.  The below photo was what we saw.  It was the most breath-taking view and I'll never forget seeing it for the first time.

Sunrise over Milpark, March 5th

While we were staying in Chimoio, we were working at Gondola Training Center in Gondola, Mozambique.  One of my favorite memories of the time we spent at GTC is the children there.  The kids at GTC were the first children we really had the chance to interact with.  We had the opportunity to meet them, listen to them sing us the Mozambican National Hymn, give the gift of soccer balls to their school, and spend some time playing with some of the kids.  Looking into the eyes of those children was life-changing.  I've never seen such joy before.  Their spirit shined through their eyes and through their smiles.  I know by American standards, they have nothing, but in reality they have everything most Americans strive to find - happiness.  

After the gift-giving ceremony at a primary and secondary school near GTC

Playing with the kids at GTC

This next photo is my favorite picture I've ever seen of myself, not because it's a particularly great picture, but because I think the joy I was feeling at that moment shines through.  At the point it was taken, I had given my camera to a boy (who I'd guess was 8 or 9 years old) to use.  He was having a blast taking pictures of all of his friends and of us crazy Americans.  In this photo I'm holding his book - a Portuguese reading book - because he couldn't figure out how to carry his school books around while snapping pictures.  At this moment nothing else in the world mattered to me.  

I would give up almost anything to go back to this point in time...

After leaving GTC, we traveled south to Inhambane where Carolyn Belshe Orphanage is located.  The orphanage is truly amazing - there is more to write about the orphanage than I can write right now, including a well dedication ceremony.  That being said, this little girl was one of a handful of kids that stole my heart. She was so so sweet and had the most beautiful dimples I've ever seen.

Playing patty-cake, March 9, 2013

I'm going to go ahead and close this with the most amazing videos you'll ever see.  This proves Michael Jackson is a universal language.

Jamming to MJ in Chokwé

Struggling...

Matthew 7:1-5

 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentalitycn all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

Those of you who know me well may have noticed that I haven't been "me" since I've gotten back from Mozambique.  The problem is, I'm not really sure who me is anymore.  Since coming home, I've pretty much isolated myself from family and friends, with the exception of those that I traveled with or those who've traveled to Mozambique previously.  I can't look inside of my closet without crying.  Seeing my shoe selection disgusts me.  Grocery shopping is nearly impossible because it's so overwhelming.  And let's not even talk about how I feel about the comforts in my home.

For the most part, I expected these things to happen.  I knew I'd forever be changed by the hearts of Mozambique.  What I didn't fully have a grasp on are the feelings I now have about other people (read: my family and friends) who have not shared this experience.  

I catch myself judging everyone.  Four weeks ago I may have judged a random stranger because of the label on their clothes, their zip code or the fact that they were totally overdo for a highlight - basically because they weren't materialistic enough.  Today, I'm judging those same things - labels, cars, shoes, other spending habits.  The difference is I'm judging people (myself included) for spending too much on everything.  That closet full of $100 yoga pants?  I feel like burning it all.  Those Louboutins? I'd trade them for a $20 pair of heels from Payless.  While those who know me know those aren't thoughts the old Jenn would have, the real problems is that I find myself projecting those feelings on others.  And that's not fair.  

Who am I to judge anyone else?  I need to figure out a way to not be a judgmental bitch.  I need to realize that there's really nothing wrong with finding comfort in some of the things I used to find comfort in from time to time.  I need to understand that until someone actually goes to Africa, there's really nothing I can do or say to make them understand what I'm going through.

So friends, I ask you to give me time.  Give me time to adjust to this new me that I'm trying to find.  Time to ease back into this crazy world that is America.  Time to reflect on what I experienced.  I promise I do want to share the love of Mozambique with all of you, it's just going to take me a little bit to find the correct way to do that.  I promise that I love you all and that I will come around, but for the mean time, please show me grace and patience and I'll do my very best to do the same.

xoxo,
Jenn

March 6th sunrise over Chimoio, Mozambique

Trying this whole blogging thing again...

It's been a long time since I've attempted to regularly maintain a blog.  I've been meaning to start fresh for some time now, but just haven't gotten around to it.  If nothing else, I want to journal through my trip to Mozambique, to create a permanent record of how this trip changes my life.  My life is completely different today than it was just a few years ago, and I'm excited to see the changes that are to come.